MPKGD That’s it!
That’s it! After years of controlling it. I have allowed it to just happen. I will just allow the fangirl life to take over me and just go with it.
For years, I have controlled myself not to allow fangirling to come and take over my life because I had other stuff to do like studying. So, that was the priority. I knew that being a fangirl will take over so much of my time and effort – and of course, money – I didn’t really allow it to fully swallow me up. (There are of course some obsessions like reading that I just allowed to swallow me up whole and now my house looks like a library and my devices all look like reading devices more than a phone).
But now because school is over, I have time on my hands, and a little bit more money in the bank. I have decided to just let lose.
Books
Books are an unnecessary tale to tell. It’s a common occurrence for my friends to “lose” me in a bookstore and they come back to where they last saw me and see me buried in a book, unmoving. It’s a common sight. I have grown up with books surrounding me and in my hand. I was the easiest one in the family to give gifts to during Christmas because all people had to do was give me a big fat book and then I will be fully content with it (unless of course they give me a bad one then that will be up for discussion).
I love books so much that I studied literature in university. I really enjoy studying books and the background of the books as they are written, for whom they were written, and why they were written. The background of the books is a long story to tell in itself. I find enjoyment in dissecting the stories behind these books and in finding these stories I find the greatest adventure.
I have this goal in life that doesn’t really have a deadline: to have a library or at least just a room that is dedicated to reading. It will have a nook and be filled with bean bags and a comfortable chaise with natural sunlight hitting the perfect reading spots so that you can read with the sun. I want it comfortable, cozy, and homey surrounded by dark wood so it feels like entering another world.
Webtoon, Manhwa, and other electronic reading materials
I could consider myself pretty much a traditionalist when it comes to reading and reading materials, ie physical books printed on paper or at least printable copies like in a pdf form. I like being able to touch and turn the pages. As a bibliophile, I highly appreciate being able to smell the books and feel the texture of the paper; for me, it makes the stories more engaging because you are PHYSICALLY holding it. Then the pandemic happened and even though stores have made their delivery services a lot more accessible, I really didn’t want everything to be delivered to me. So, I tried to experiment on different media like electronic reading materials, and I must say: I thoroughly enjoyed it. Will I switch to reading mainly on electronic devices? Not really. I do like holding the books and I would like to do so until I can no longer hold one.
Then, my best friend introduced me to webtoons, the world of manga and light novels (Japanese young adults novels). The first two I already consume too much of by the time I am writing this and the light novels, I am still getting a hang of. This is really new territory to me. I have never been really a comic book lover and the formatting was never really my cup of tea, so delving into this world was a huge step. This turned out to be a lot cheaper than my book addiction and more of a space saver, which helped a lot. (There will be of course some that you have to pay for to read and I am happy to pay for it).
Authors
When you read the books, you get curious. Why did the author write this? What was the inspiration to write this out? What was his background? This is very interesting to me because it explains so much of their writing. And this takes so much of your time. In university, it will take up a full 3 hour lecture and the student will be sitting there taking all the notes. These three hours does not include any theories as to why such a book was written as a reflection of the author. It was just 3 hours of cold hard facts researched by someone else, compiled by the professor regurgitated to you. Now imagine doing all this research on your own and trying to make sure that you come across the most viable and reliable resources before you can properly understand. You need to cross-reference for proper information!
This takes so much time! But now I do have it and won’t feel bad about taking some time away from studying. Or I just go on full geek-mode and enjoy researching.
Music
Ok, considering that there are now tons of available playlists on YouTube curated for listening while studying and other situations, my music hasn’t really expanded since pre-university. I just turn on the radio and listen to what’s on it whether I like it or not. There will be the occasional songs on YouTube that I would really like that would not be on the radio and I would obsess over it; but those were rare moments. There was at some point my YouTube was void of any music recommendations and just full of documentaries and/or short videos explaining my topic at school.
BUT NOW! I got time. I have time to curate my music, explore new artists, rediscover genres and artists I have long forgotten or thought to have outgrown and discover hidden gems. It takes a while and countless hours to have to go deep into music addiction. Now I have a song for every event and every moment (mainly, my sister does the curating and I just tell her the type of song that I have been missing). But still! I have time to listen to music now and actually enjoy what’s happening as I listen to the music. Its no longer just a passing thing for me. I can fully indulge on the music.
The artist
Ooh! With music appreciation comes fangirling over the artists! I mean with music artists or singers or bands, it is so much easier to obsess over them than, let’s say, TV or movie actors. There is so much content to watch and merchandise to buy from music artists. You can literally look for so many shows that they were on and interviews that they have done. Some even have variety shows that were made so that fans can indulge more. There are some industries that give more of these indulgences to fans than other industries.
But yeah, it takes a lot of time and consumes a lot of energy. (PSA: these parasocial relationships – a psychological relationship experienced by an audient in their mediated encounters with performers in the mass media, particularly on television and online platforms – can go quickly out of hand. Please remember, you don’t know them like that and probably never will so just enjoy the music and the content and live your own life without the delusion that you can even get with them. Thank you!)
Movies
Netflix is a trove. Notice that I just said trove and not treasure trove because there is a vast collection of things, but it is not necessarily always good. There are hidden gems in there and there those ones that you ask how they even got out of the idea board or the pages of the script. There are those movies that you feel even worse after watching them; it makes you want to start studying scriptwriting and directing because you think you can do better.
I used to not be able to watch movies when I was still in school. Well, technically I was able to but it was more like a background filler that just plays when I am studying. In short, I was neither fully focused on studying nor watching. It was a tough juggle. Now, I could focus on stuff and see what I really like.
But if I were to have a comfort movie, it is always Lord of the Rings. I have been watching it for decades. Its luster never faded in my eyes, and I continue to watch it because it feels like home.
TV
TV! I like watching TV shows. I really do appreciate the time that I have whenever I watch TV Shows. Currently, I love watching Korean dramas. And no! for those who are starting to think that I have merely jumped the bandwagon, LET ME STOP YOU THERE! I have been on this K-drama obsession for decades. I was there when the outfits and hairstyles were very questionable and the quality was so grainy we had to guess who was speaking or when we had to hit the TV just hard enough so that we can get the best signal. I was already there when the “classics” were just showing and at the end of the episode you see the “on the next episode…” title/spoiler letter blocking. I was there when we had commercials and teasers and trailers for what is considered classic now. I was there when we had just about enough time to run to the bathroom while the commercial was playing and just before the next segment began. We had to buy or borrow CDs and DVDs so that we can watch our favorites over and over again. We didn’t have the Netflix that we know now. Part of the fun is wondering whether the CD will work when we put it inside the player.
But we do have Netflix and other streaming platforms now, so its time for people to discover the gem that is K-drama and love it for what it is. It’s time to invite more fans into the shows that everyone loves. Its beautiful and always well crafted and it must be shared. Watch it to take a break from the usual sex-induced and violent western shows. It’s wholesome and very hopeful. I really do hope that it stays that way.
But of course, that is not the only genre of shows that I try to watch.
If one wants to watch perfectly crafted English-language content, look no further than British made TV. It’s *chef kiss* beautiful! Perfectly crafted: perfecting casting, ingenious writing, cinematic cinematography, tightknit directorship, and a music list that fits the show’s image perfectly. British TV has always shown class (even their weirdly raunchy and questionable ones) and has become classic. I don’t think I have yet seen a British show that ended or started badly, they have become classics in their own right. Some have definitely aged and seem to be terribly outdated for today’s viewers but watching that kind of content does take you back to the atmosphere and environment when it first showed. I think that is pretty neat.
And for this one, I would like to thank streaming platforms. I grew up with barely any access to British TV but when I did, I really enjoyed consuming a lot of it.
And speaking of platforms, individual streaming platforms had their own “original content”. Meaning that these platforms do produce their own projects rather than merely buying rights for the film. You get Netflix Originals, Apple+ TV, Amazon Originals, etc…, there are a lot more but these are what I consume the most. There are so many out there that you need to filter through everything to just watch something.
Now, look. I don’t have weird hobbies or weird indulgences. It’s just that there is a lot, there is too much of what I consume and that is why I have decided to allow myself to be enveloped in this fangirl LIFE after school. It is consuming.
I want time to consume all that I want to consume and then curate it and then maybe put it in a blog… like this one. This was one of the reasons why this blog was opened. (And as far as one can see, it has not been updated quite a lot since all I do is consume and produce virtually nothing. I do have all the plans to change this horrible pattern).
